Obituary of Lisa S. Powlen

Lisa S. Powlen (Morrison) Penfield: Passed away peacefully August 31, 2009. She was predeceased by her parents, Emil & Thelma Morrison. She was the loving wife of Robert, dedicated mother to Liam & Ethan. She is also survived by her mother-in-law, & father-in-law, Peg & George Powlen; brother, Howard and a large loving extended family and many friends. Graveside Services will be held Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 2:00 P.M. at St. Michael's Cemetery (Shelly Rd., Livonia, NY Click for a Map to the Cemetery). Following the Funeral the family will receive friends at 3818 Center Street, Livonia NY (Click for a map to the house ) until 8:00 P.M. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the: Webster Comfort Care Home 700 Holt Road Webster, New York 14580 Link to the Website ...in her memory. Rabbi Sandra Katz of the Jewish Home of Rochester gave Lisa's eulogy. Her notes are below, and are presented in the format she read them: Lisa Powlen z”l -Celebrate life -Join family: husband Bob, kids Liam and Ethan; mother-in-law, Peg; devoted ladies’ chauffeur club Pammy, Terri, Barb, Cynthia and Rie; other friends and family -Lisa’s life began in Boston, daughter of Thelma and Emil – She was the sister of a special needs brother, who is living out of town – Lisa went to HS in the Boston area and then to Northeastern University – There she gained the skills to become a business analyst in the financial industry – While Lisa was in her twenties, her father died; she kept the sadness inside her, but his loss reverberated for a long time – After college, Lisa went to work at State Street Bank in Boston -There was a consultant that caught her eye, and after his association with the bank ended, Lisa called Bob Powlen and asked if he would meet her for dinner – The rest, as we say, is history -Lisa and Bob decided to build a house in the suburbs, well, okay, Lisa decided – Then her remaining parent, her mother, became ill, and the stress of caring for her mother, building the house, and planning a wedding became too much – What could go? The fancy wedding – So Lisa and Bob planned a relaxing trip to Las Vegas for their wedding instead, with a honeymoon at a nearby resort -Lisa probably had it all planned – career, marriage, children – and especially looked forward to motherhood – While it was more difficult than she had first thought, ten years ago she gave birth to the twins that gave her the deepest joy she could imagine – She retired from banking so that she could be present for every developmental milestone – Lisa gave her boys good habits for life, and the security that she loved them with endless devotion – She would expect that they will remember her, and also that they will carry her love into the world – Of course, they are two steps ahead; while Lisa was sick, the boys would take turns visiting other people at the Webster Comfort Care Home who had no visitors – Lisa would be proud of how they take initiative and think of others, how they eat their vegetables, and how they live the values she taught them – Somehow Liam and Ethan have the best characteristics of both their parents, carrying the best aspects of Lisa into the future with them -The boys were little when Lisa was diagnosed with breast cancer – The family moved to Rochester to be near a support network that would look after Lisa – Bob’s family gave Lisa reliable help that fit her needs while Bob commuted to Boston for work – Lisa and Bob have expressed their gratitude for the dear ones who went beyond the call of duty, taking Lisa to her therapies but also to TJ Maxx – And now the Powlen home has the towels to show for all those shopping trips, visual reminders of days spent together -It seems like long ago that Bob and Lisa led an active life, with travel, museums, dinners in restaurants – Lisa struggled with the loss of mobility and the limits of her illness – Perhaps she shopped for the boys as a way of showing love, when what she really would have wanted to do was take them bowling or skating, a compensation for what she wished she could give – While Lisa could be… insistent, let’s say, underneath it all was someone who wanted everything to be just right in all details – She cleaned the bathroom when she was sick because she was the only one who could do it right, as she would assert; again, her distinctive way of showing love – Lisa had a clear sense of her values; as long as she lived, she lived by her values and staked claim to what mattered to her -If you ever saw Lisa and Bob having a discussion, you might note that the two had very different approaches – Nonetheless, Lisa and Bob loved each other in their own way, sharing frustration and tenderness through this protracted siege that no one wanted – Lisa’s lingering decline this summer gave Bob and the twins the opportunity to shake free of denial and prepare for this day -During her long journey through illness, she resolutely worked to wring every possible minute she could with her family, defying doctors’ predictions repeatedly – She did not think of herself as courageous or extraordinary, just an ordinary woman who loved her family – Lisa would want us to remember her as principled, orderly, attentive to detail, practical and a clear thinker – We will miss those qualities in her and much more – May her memory lift us to aspire to our best selves, and may Lisa rest in peace Home Penfield, New York Birthplace Boston, MA